Chapter 13: Sharp Tongue Teases the Cultivators

Lu Qingyang squatted under the roots of a locust tree in the southwest corner of the market, his fingertips fiddling with half a withered yellow turtle shell. The foxtail grass in his mouth bobbed up and down with his curses: “You want to trade three Spirit Stones for my Dragon Blood Vine? Fellow Daoist, your abacus beads are clattering so loudly they can be heard all the way in Zhongzhou!”

He deliberately shook the qingmu spirit pearl peeking from his waist, its green rust on the surface perfectly concealing the spiritual mist flowing within. The jade crown of the brocade-robed Cultivator opposite him trembled, and the profound iron weighing rod extending from his sleeve suddenly grew three inches.

Lu Qingyang didn't even lift an eyelid. He kicked over the pottery jar containing rotten bone flower powder, and the dusty powder clung to the other party's clothes with the wind. “I advise you not to wield the measuring heaven ruler. This rotten bone flower powder from the Nether Abyss…” He drew out his words, watching red rashes appear on the brocade-robed Cultivator’s neck. “It turns into bone-corroding powder when it touches sweat.”

Amidst the burst of laughter from the onlookers, Lu Qingyang swiftly rolled up his stall cloth. The qingmu spirit pearl in his palm warmed slightly, and the hourglass inside reminded him that the market patrol team was approaching. Just as he was about to slip into a dark alley, a faint fragrance wafted into his nostrils—an orchid-colored skirt swept across the bluestone slab, silver bells jingled on the umbrella-wielding woman’s wrist, and the nine-leaf lotus pattern of the Immortal Doctor Valley was embroidered on her waist sash.

“Fellow Daoist, this fake Dragon Blood Vine of yours…” The woman’s slender finger traced the wilting vine on the stall, her voice soft and alluring like the misty rain of Jiangnan. “It actually has two more leaf veins than the real thing.” Lu Qingyang bit the tip of his tongue with his back molar to prevent his gaze from lingering on that section of snowy white wrist.

He unfurled the hidden scab at the root of the vine, revealing specks of golden spots. “If Fairy Su is willing to exchange it for a Three Pure Detoxification Pill, Mr. Lu will throw in a secret—for example, the cinnabar mole behind Ye Wuchen’s left ear…” The umbrella suddenly lowered half an inch, and a silver needle from Su Li’s sleeve grazed his earlobe and embedded itself into the wall brick. Lu Qingyang touched his bleeding earlobe and chuckled, “Fairy, do you know why Senior Brother Ye always covers his face with Sword Qi? Back then, he was in…” Before he could finish, he was interrupted by the sound of a Sword Qi breaking through the air, and a standard Taiyi Pavilion Flying Sword cut off half of his hair tie.

When Ye Wuchen landed on his Sword Qi, Lu Qingyang had already blended into the crowd of onlookers. He clutched half of a silver-threaded waist sash he had secretly torn off, sniffing the lingering cold plum scent on it and muttering, “The ice silk from Immortal Doctor Valley is just too slippery…” The qingmu spirit pearl suddenly trembled violently, and the medicinal field inside the pearl showed a phantom image of the auction house’s backyard—five profound yin flowers sealed by Talismans were withering.

During the sound of the evening drum, Lu Qingyang, disguised as a hunchbacked old man, squatted in the corner of the auction house wall. When the guard captain sternly chased away a beggar, he flicked out a copper coin stained with rouge from his sleeve: “Officer, please be kind, this old man is sending the redemption money to Miss Chunxing of Cuihong Tower…” Before he could finish, he was kicked into a ditch, but he took the opportunity to flick spirit-eroding ant eggs into the man’s boot seam. After three rounds of the midnight drum, the auction house storeroom suddenly exploded with a green light.

Lu Qingyang watched from the rafters as the guards, covered in red swollen rashes, scratched themselves and ran around wildly, clucking his tongue, “I told you not to touch Miss Chunxing’s token of love…” He ghost-like flashed to the profound yin flowers. As soon as the qingmu spirit pearl touched the sealing Talisman paper, the entire storeroom suddenly became as bright as day.

“Junior Brother Lu, what fine taste you have.” Ye Wuchen materialized from the Sword Qi, a shining pearl suspended in his palm reflecting his unsightly struggle with his Storage Pouch. “Coming to admire flowers at midnight?”

“Senior Brother Ye, aren’t you also here to admire…” Lu Qingyang suddenly stared behind him and exclaimed, “Fairy Su, why are your clothes disheveled!” Taking advantage of Ye Wuchen’s momentary Divine Sense confusion, he swallowed an entire bottle of Qi Burst Pills and crashed through the roof. His Meridians cracked inch by inch under the impact of the medicinal power, but he used this brute force to stuff the profound yin flowers, roots and all, into the qingmu spirit pearl space. When seven Sword Qi formed a net, Lu Qingyang instead grinned.

He tore open his clothes to reveal the anti-counterfeit marks of the auction house all over his body, and wailed at the top of his lungs, “Taiyi Pavilion is kidnapping civilians!” The recording stones held up by the surrounding Cultivators caused Ye Wuchen’s sword momentum to falter slightly. In that instant, Lu Qingyang had already crushed a teleportation Talisman and plunged into the underground river.

As the foul-smelling river water filled his mouth and nose, the profound yin flowers in the qingmu spirit pearl space suddenly bloomed with an eerie radiance. Lu Qingyang clung to a piece of driftwood and coughed violently, noticing a dark pattern appearing on his forehead in his reflection—he had been cursed by a thousand-year-old flower demon. He wiped his face with a bitter smile: “Greed for small advantages leads to great losses, the ancients truly…” Before he could finish, he was swept into a deep pool by a whirlpool. The last thing he saw at the bottom of the pool was a pile of white bones forming a small mountain, with a rusty ancient sword stuck in it.