We kissed when we were 9. I think I will always remember the chirping of cicadas in the afternoon. These little creatures were so annoying. He pulled my hand, his eyes flashing with excitement. I was shy but didn't hide. We hugged, caressed, and casually put our lips together. That kiss had no taste, so when I recall it later, my mood is different and the taste of my first kiss is also different. When I was older, my mother didn't allow me to associate with Robbie anymore. She thought that being too close to a poor boy would lead to bad rumors. But I still secretly went out to play with Robbie. He was poor, but he was pleasant. We rarely kiss, but every time we do, I feel happier than the last time. By the time I was 14, Robbie had grown into a hard-working, awesome kid, and I was starting to develop sexual desires. After a long kiss, I almost gave myself to Robbie and talked nonsense about eloping with him. Robbie was also confused by lust... But at the last moment, he calmed down and told me that he couldn't do that. He wanted to be successful and then come back to marry me openly. I heard it, but didn't take it to heart. Being in love made me like a fool. All I had eyes for was the big boy in front of me. No matter whether we were rich or poor, I wanted to spend my whole life with him. He is more realistic than me, so he knows that he must be successful to impress my parents. He is more dreamy than me, and believes that he can create a future with his own sword and gun. He wanted to be a mercenary, and I was against him doing such a dangerous job. We sometimes quarreled and sometimes made up, but my boy was methodical in preparing to leave home.

All I can do is save the pocket money my parents give me, put it in a box and give it to him when he leaves. I told him that I would wait for him for seven years at most. If he didn't come back after seven years, I would become disheartened and find a man to marry, stop the time of memories and love, and live a dull life. If he could come back, no matter he was poor or rich, as long as he could still take out the wooden box I gave him, I would definitely marry him. If my parents tried to stop me, I would jump off the building and break my legs to force them to agree. My boy cried, and I cried too. The parting kiss tasted salty. On the first day after he left, I began to miss him, and this longing made me anxious and worried. Will he get sick, will he get hurt, will he eat well, will the adults bully him, will he be owed wages, will he be attracted to other women? In the quiet night, dreams give my thoughts specific scenes. When I wake up from a beautiful or tragic dream and realize that the person I love is not around, I taste the taste of loneliness. When I was a little older, local professional matchmakers started to visit me and introduce various candidates to me: both wealthy but greasy middle-aged men and handsome young men. My parents were pleased with every potential marriage partner, and the matchmakers introduced them to families that they considered to be impeccable. They asked for my opinion. I had not been well educated, nor was I known for my wit or good talk, but at that time I was able to come up with convincing reasons and rejected each and every proposal of marriage. However, after such rejections were repeated several times, even the most obtuse parents would realize that there was someone living in my heart. And because I didn't have much interaction with men, they could easily guess that I loved Robbie. The quarrel broke out. At first, we talked calmly and shared our views, but gradually, we both understood each other's bottom line that could not be changed: my parents would never make a hopeless investment, and my heart only belonged to Robbie and would not accept any other arrangements. As time went by, my defenses were eroded by reality. My parents told me the terrible consequences of becoming an old spinster. I had to either be alone or lower my standards for marriage and marry a blind date who was much worse than before. Just when I could hardly hold on any longer, a new matchmaker came in and brought news from afar: my Robbie had made great achievements in the Holy Land, was awarded the title of Earl, and had an annual income of 120,000. He had not forgotten our old relationship and asked someone to come and propose marriage to my family. What a joyful day it was. After the guests left, I ran around in the bedroom, crazier than when I was a child. I hugged each maid and kissed their cheeks, then rolled over and over on the bed. If the weather bottle hadn't indicated that a rainstorm was approaching, I would have even wanted to go for a ride outside on horseback. My parents, who had strongly opposed my marriage to Robbie, looked embarrassed when they saw me. Despite this, my parents, feeling embarrassed, left me with a blessing that was like a curse: they hoped that I would manage my marriage with Robbie well and be prepared - I may still be the me in Robbie's memory, but Robbie, who has experienced many things, is definitely no longer the Robbie in my memory filter. They said that Robbie and I grew up in different environments, so it was okay to be friends, but when we lived together, a huge gap in our ideas would appear. Love could temporarily alleviate the gap, but as time went by, our conflicts would only increase. They also said that this was an unequal marriage and that I contributed too little value to the marriage. They were worried about whether I was ready to take a subordinate position, whether I could take the initiative to learn, help Robbie in other ways, and be a useful wife to him.

To sum up, they were not optimistic about this marriage and felt that I would not be able to bind Robbie emotionally and in terms of interests. But does it take so much thinking and calculation to marry a boy you like? We are lovers, not business partners. After getting the reply from my family, Robbie came in person. I hugged him excitedly, but he gently pushed me away and spoke to my parents in a strange tone and manner. He even changed his preference for food, which made me feel extremely uncomfortable, as if the person eating with me was a stranger from afar. After dinner, I invited him to go for a walk, and he agreed. I naturally headed for the birch forest, but he held my arm and said that it was not a place for a respectable person to go. The word "respectable" coming out of Robbie's mouth made me feel a little funny, and a few seconds later, it turned into pride. Yes, Robbie's career is booming, so he has the confidence to act like this. I agreed, and we walked around the mansion. At first, we talked about our memories and shared our experiences. Everything was beautiful, until we talked about memories of childhood and adolescence, and I realized that he didn't remember much. Those memories that I regard as precious are just the beginning in his life experience. Rivals, brothers, wars, glory, life and death... the excitement they bring is no less than that of first love. So, some memories are sacrificed to make room for later, intense memories. But mostly it was a pleasant reunion because he was just as clumsy as I remembered when we kissed." Chapter 41: Shimanna's Memories (Part 2) As Shimanna was narrating, the commissioner's pen emitted a purple fluorescence as he kept taking notes on the open notebook. She turned the notebook over and handed it to Shimana, who picked it up and looked at it. The contents of the notebook were exactly the same as her description. The commissioner said: “The memoir is mainly based on this record, and we will make a second and third visit to add details. The person next to me is the writer. She will include the present you in the memoir from a third-party perspective and expand the details appropriately. " Shimana returned the notebook: "Is this magic?" "Yes, recording magic is the basic magic in the field of magicians." "I thought magic was used for war and killing people." "In fact, magic related to combat only accounts for 37% of the total magic, and among the magic related to combat, about half is not very practical... At least when facing the extraordinary people from the Federation, their performance is not ideal." Shimana sipped her tea. When she had rested for a while, the commissioner asked, "It seems that your marriage with Count Don Rodik was not smooth sailing. He has become a stranger and you have stopped moving forward. There is a certain misalignment in your cognition." "I don't deny that, but difficulties are like trials that make our marriage more solid." "So, can you tell me the story of what happened before and after the wedding?" Shimana replied: "There is indeed some story here. After Robbie finalized the approximate date of the wedding at my house, he invited me to travel to the Holy Land. Our whole family was very happy. It was a novel and interesting trip. We saw many foreign sceneries. After arriving in Holy Land, the beauty of Robbie's courtyard was beyond my imagination. However, there are also factors that make me uneasy—" "What?" the commissioner asked. "Among Robbie's followers, there was a girl who was particularly obsessed with him. When I first arrived, I felt her hostile gaze. Robbie relied heavily on that person and handed over all his property to her to manage. You have to understand that I felt the same hostility towards that woman, but I tolerated her for the time being because she was on Robbie's side, and I hadn't figured out Robbie's situation yet.

She was not the biggest challenge. Robbie brought me into his social circle, trying to make his friends my friends. But I could not get a word in when his friends were discussing popular novels or supernatural powers. "Uh, ma'am, don't you read novels?" the commissioner asked. "In my time, all the ladies who considered themselves elegant never talked about novels in public, but I think they must have read a lot of novels in private." Shimana smiled: "Back to the point, I was frustrated that I couldn't fit into Robbie's circle. When my personal maid told me one day that those people thought Robbie was wasting his life by marrying me, my frustration turned into dissatisfaction. They were the ones who tried to exclude me first, so it was only right for me to fight back. I put up with it for now, got to know Robbie, and rated his friends by intimacy, talent, prospects, character, and lifestyle. At least I can give birth to children for Robbie, take care of his life, and give him both physical and spiritual comfort. However, those so-called "friends" who have bad habits, no future, and are of no help to Robbie's career should leave his life. Uh, please use milder language in this paragraph to modify my description and exclude the negative assets of my fiancé. It sounds a bit cold, but it's also for Robbie's good. In the Federation, everyone does it, but saying it is another matter.” The newspaper writer nodded. Shimana continued: “I used wisdom to distance Robbie from those negative assets in a way that would not anger him or alert him. I want to defend myself. I did not retaliate with personal emotions. Among the friends I left behind, there were quite a few who did not approve of Robbie and my marriage, but they helped Robbie's career, so I tolerated their offense. " "What does Count Don Rodick think?" asked the commissioner. "Robbie is a naive and kind person. He wants to be a peacemaker and mediate the conflicts between his friends and lovers. In order to make the people we both love smile again, I reluctantly reached a peace agreement with them: They no longer interfered with Robbie's marriage and helped him wholeheartedly. On the contrary, I would not attend or interfere with the men's gatherings, as if I was sharing Robbie with them. I can't describe the feeling. It wasn't hostility, but it wasn't kindness either. It was just a competition to see who attracted Robbie more. Before the wedding, they won me more, and after the wedding, I won them more. When Robbie was clumsy and tried to make love with me according to the knowledge in the book, I won. " Shimana blushed: "We got married on April 1207, 4. It was a dream wedding. You can look up the details of the wedding in the Holy Land Review of that day. They produced a special feature, reporting on the wedding and its behind-the-scenes story, which included a visit to Robbie and me. The first difficulty we encountered in our married life was that Robbie was passionate and his eyes were full of love, enough to melt my reason, but his body was like a beast and I was too delicate. So on my wedding night, I went to hell because of heavy bleeding. Fortunately, the nuns of the Anglican Church came in time and used divine magic to heal me and brought me back to the world of the living. Uh, please consider the reputation of the deceased and write this paragraph more tactfully, and put the blame on me. After all, I didn't expect the gap between extraordinary people and ordinary people to be so big... Robbie was so upset about my injury that it took three weeks for us to sleep together again, and he kept apologizing to me. It was then that I saw that, beneath the veneer of fame and fortune, he was still the boy I knew. I told him it was okay and that I should take the lead based on the lesson learned from last time. As a result, we both received pleasant responses. We spent half a year in love with each other. The people from the national church took care of the newlyweds and arranged jobs for him that could be completed within one day locally. During the day, I did some manual work, talked to my parents, walked the dog, watched cats fight, played with birds, read literary works, and was the first to welcome him when he came home. He said that after a day's work, the most comforting moment was the warmth and softness brought by my hug, and he would bury his head in my chest like a child. This is not weakness or childishness. Heroes also need healing. A husband's obsession with his wife should be a source of pride for the wife. At the dinner table, we talked without restraint, and on the lawn, we shared the beautiful night. When food is no longer a burden on the stomach, I will serve him in the bathroom with my own hands, and every scar of his makes me feel heartbroken. If this day ended here, it would undoubtedly be a happy and fulfilling day, but my husband loves me a little too much, and his passion makes me feel a little...unable to cope with it. However, I wanted our love to be born, so I faced my husband every night with the spirit of a life-and-death duel. When I confirmed that I was pregnant, tears welled up in my eyes and I felt that everything had paid off. "

It was common knowledge that Count Don Rodic's beloved daughter, Sulena, had died in a car accident. The commissioner hesitated and said, "Madam, considering your mood, we can skip this stage." "Thank you. Whenever I think of Sulena, I feel sad. She was the child I gave birth to with so much difficulty. She was my hope, my love and the continuation of my life. On the afternoon when I was informed of the bad news... I'm sorry." Shimanna burst into tears and covered her face with her hands. After several minutes, she calmed down, took out a pocket watch from her clothes and opened it. A little girl who looked somewhat like her, her life was forever frozen in the sketch. "Robbie tried desperately to apologize to me, but he didn't do it on purpose. He wanted to kill the driver in his grief. I hated the man who took my daughter away, but I felt that he didn't do it on purpose, didn't deserve the death penalty, and didn't need to sacrifice Robbie's life. We were equally sad but had different ideas, and we quarreled. Sulena's departure seemed to have taken away a large part of our love. After burying his daughter, he began to go on business trips, while I went to the theater and salon with my friends. Because of the business trip, Robbie's relationship with his friends became distant, and he also had a conflict with the woman who was obsessed with him. I took the opportunity to drive that woman out. In this way, all of Robbie's internal and external affairs were handled by reliable people, and I was finally able to manage his business as his wife and was respected by the rest of his friends. Time gradually healed the pain, and the short separation from Robbie made us fall in love when we reunited. He was a little reluctant to leave the gentle world, but I firmly pushed him away and let him continue to work hard in his career. If he stayed any longer, my body wouldn’t be able to handle it.” "So, when your husband was away on business, did you ever feel lonely or encounter any troubles? You know, an elegant, beautiful lady like you who stays alone in her boudoir is a prey in the eyes of some dangerous elements," asked the commissioner. Chapter 42: Shimanna's Memories (Part 2) "You guys, for the sake of sales, always want to write something that will excite people's eyes." Shi Manna sighed and said, "Robbie is famous, who dares to approach him? I have guards at home, and I am a clean person. I would not consider any man other than Robbie at that time. I gave him my vows at our wedding and gave him my purity, and I had dreamed of marrying her since puberty, no, since we first kissed at the age of 9. If I betrayed him, it would be equivalent to betraying my own life, which is something I cannot imagine. In order to warn the villains, I even raised a dog, although the dog was small, ugly, had a bald spot on the top of its head, a strange cleft lip, bent bones, and was a cheap dog without any breed. It also had a hypochondriasis in a place that I can't describe directly, which made it very strange compared to other dogs. Perhaps, precisely because of its poor innate conditions, in order to survive, it worked harder than other dogs to learn to please humans and keep a low profile... When my husband came back, it would disappear quietly and not compete with the mistress's husband for a sense of existence. In its company, I feel incredibly warm, and its strange appearance scares away people with bad intentions. " The commissioner smiled and said, "I also have a dog at home, but this is the first time I've heard of such a wonderful dog. Where did you get it, ma'am?" “It was given to me by a friend who has passed away in March 1228. She and other friends had been urging me to get a dog to fill the spiritual void, but I had been hesitating. I am not very interested in dogs. If I had children, I could devote my life to raising them and get rid of boredom. But my children already have... Under their persuasion, I gradually wavered and finally decided to keep a dog. It was my birthday that day, and they invited me to the theater to watch a play. In the box, they celebrated for me. We had a party until nearly three in the morning, and my close friend said mysteriously that she had prepared a special birthday gift. She insisted on giving it to me alone, so I had to get on her carriage to have a midnight snack. Then, I saw the puppy, it looked at me pitifully, I don't know why, I liked it at first sight. I held it in my arms. It was a little timid, so I took the initiative to kiss its fur. It gradually calmed down and started to be affectionate with me in return. This was such a noisy little dog. I played with it for a long time, but I couldn’t bear it any longer, so I took the carriage home... Who knew that my friend would bring it to me the next afternoon. I wanted to refuse at first. Even if I wanted to raise a puppy, couldn't I raise a prettier one? But somehow, my heart softened when I saw it, so I carried it into the house and brought it to my room. It let out a happy cry, threw me onto the bed, and licked my cheek flatteringly. I was so amused that I rolled around on the bed holding the little thing... At that time, I truly felt my lack of physical exercise and was actually out of breath because of being tormented by a puppy.